When being connected really means being DISCONNECTED

MR Euristocrats Aug09_Page_1Today I learnt alot about what I do and don’t want when it comes to the opposite sex, dating and relationships. I know you are thinking, here goes another fussy woman expecting the world from every guy she comes across, but its actually the complete opposite. My experience with the mere males of our society is quiete favourable. Most of them are genuinely nice, considerate and entertaining. I have no negative comments that wouldnt relate to both sexes. I am far from a feminist, in fact I AGREE. I think women expect the world from men, instead of creating their own world in which they thrive as their own person. I believe relationships are important and have played a big role in the person I have become. One thing I have come to realise is how DISCONNECTED we have become. Twitter, facebook, text messages, emails. All tools to stay connected, however we have never been so disconnected as we are today. When on a date, having your phone on the table, continually beeping, and having the ordacity to reply to each ‘important’ email is inappropriate. In fact its not even just on a date. Lunch with friends, a business meeting, dinner with the family. Any situation where face to face contact is required is a place where the phone should be switched off or on silent. As humans we are meant to interact with each other. Touch is such an important yet forgotten sense we have left on the shelf for too long. Keeping ‘in touch’ is not the same as physically shaking a hand, or getting a hug. Do you remember how good touch actually is? I have, in the past been a person who at times has gotten caught up in the fake world online. Or constantly checking my phone for messages and missed calls. However I have always refused to buy a phone that would do it all. Emails have a place, and thats on my computer at the office. Not for 9pm when Im having drinks with friends. I have taken a step back and decided that I miss TOUCH. I miss hugs from my nephew, cuddling up to someone while watching a movie, getting my hair played with, shaking hands with like minded business people. I miss the real world, and have learned that staying ‘in touch’ is important, but I need to make time in my “I have no time” schedule to be around the people who make my life worth it.

The thing about love and life…

editor-foto-for-site-becWith soo many of my friends getting married, falling in and out love, it got me thinking about this emotion soo many people base their lives around.

I dont want to try and decipher exactly what love is, as the very specifics of this feeling need to remain a mystery. However what does fascinate me is the different levels of love that exist within our society, and how people can love someone one day and claim to fall out of love the next. Do we really have an understanding of what love is, even if its just the very basics?

I know that how I handle love is very different to the majority of those around me. Due to the way I was brought up, I am very good at detaching when love turns its back on me.

I was never in a house longer than two years, therefore I never understood what settling down means. I never really ‘unpacked’ my possessions, which in turn lead to me never really ‘unpacking’ my emotions.

At 17, I experienced something I never really understood. I met someone who loved me completely for who I was. They loved me more than I could ever love them, and it killed me that I never understood why.

Four and a half years later, I tried to take my own path in the world. What I thought was a chance to discover who I was and figure out what I needed to do to be the person I wanted to be, ended up me learning about what I didn’t want from the people in my life.

Someone said they loved me, and wanted a ring on my finger in the space of two seconds. The four months I was in this situation, I tried finding a way to get out. This was not my proudest moment, but it was my strongest.

I sat on my own for a while and took in all of the lessons I had learnt in 22 years I had been on this earth. I breathed a sigh of relief. Pain is only ever temporary, so why waste your time crying over something that has happened already and that you can no longer change? Crying is healthy, but letting your life go backwards when you are only ever meant to go forwards is making everyday harder then the next.

I then met someone when I was working on a story, and it wasn’t that instant ‘The One’ love that people talk about, it was a feeling of excitement and when I look back on it, it was ultimately a friendship. This man was someone I wanted in my life for good, but not hand in hand. It’s sad when two people can’t support each other and grow in the spotlight together. When one starts to suffer at the expense of another, it is the responsibility of the one causing the pain to relieve the other from their suffering. When this took place, a friendship stronger then anything experienced before started to blossom. This was a different love from my first love.

Now I’m at a place where my future looks brighter than ever, and Im excited about the people I have around me and where it looks like Im going.

With a smile on my face, or poking my tongue out at life, I plan to be and do everything I want to do and live life not only for love, but for every other emotion. For pride, for pain, for laughter, and tears, I want love and life to be everything I want it to be, and to never regret a single day of my life.