When your heart breaks… every fourteen days

This morning I heard the sound I dread every fortnight – the sound of suitcase wheels turning over and over on the hallway tiles, making its way to my front door, ready to break my heart all over again. 

It’s fly-out day here today – the day that comes only once every two weeks, but the day that rips your heart out and somehow, at the same time makes your family a little stronger.

Life as a FIFO family is fairly new to us – and I will tell you this much – it’s fucking hard.

Its sad, it’s lonely, it puts a whole lot of pressure on the shoulders of the parent who stays home – the kids, the cooking, the cleaning and an empty bed, becomes their every day whilst the other one flys out (the airport is no longer a glorified place to boast about being) to a tin shed for an airport with the most amazing views of nothing but a red tinged dirt. They work massive days feeling empty whilst their loved ones are at home, getting taller, making sentences and getting ‘used’ to life without mum/dad. They then go home (a metal box) to a single bed with nothingness and too much time to think.

Before you climb that horse to your perch high up there behind your keyboard – yes I know.

We chose this lifestyle. We chose to feel lonely. We chose to put the pressure on our family. We chose to live together – seperately.

But just know this – the money is not MASSIVE for most FIFO workers, sometimes its the only place people with certain qualifications can get work and no, for many, the work is not stable.

SO… Why do we do it? We do it because the little bit of extra money is worth it for us, we have a family goal and we are able to fast track our way to reaching that goal. When it came to choosing between a local job and this one – we went with the FIFO role as it gave Paul a whole new skill set, qualifications and opportunity. Brisbane didn’t have anything that could offer this. Career progression is important and for however long we need to do this, we will.

The hardest thing for me has been juggling the business, the housework, the crucial need to feed the child and I, and generally doing life 😀

However it has made me a little stronger – though I believe Ill be grey alot quicker. I get to fall in love again every two weeks. Liam and I are closer, and I have learnt to ask for help (big deal for me).

Last week after cleaning up spew because we all got sick, to a massive proposal for the business, I had a little emotional moment on the floor of our kitchen where my 2.5 year old came over and hugged me and said ‘Don’t be sad mummy’… It was clear I needed some help.

Tomorrow that help comes in the form of someone to help me at home – and I cannot freaking wait!

PS Happy Fathers Day Paul! Im glad we got to see you, even if for a small amount of the day xoxo that roof is going to be worth it xoxo

One thought on “When your heart breaks… every fourteen days

  1. awwww love! Good on you for a) writing this and b) asking for help (I know how hard that must be for you)
    I feel a teeny tiny bit of your pain having to be away from my little life I love in Auckland for 6 weeks – I know it’s only once, and not every 14 days, but it’s hard when you are separated from those you love for so long, especially when you are used to seeing them everyday.
    Keep doing what you are doing for your little family – and vent whenever you feel like venting!
    You’re doing an amazing job, and if you need an extra set of hands, or a shoulder to lean on on the next 5 weeks – you know where to find me x

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