Working out what you want to do with your life

With this year’s bunch of seniors finishing school this week, and a conversation I have had with someone at a recent event, I decided to write a bit about how I think you can work out what you want to do with your life.

I understand that there are many people out there who are in their 30’s, 40’s even 50’s who have spent their lives doing things they don’t actually want to be doing let alone even liking it.

When I ask the questions ‘what do you want to do with your life?’ or ‘Do you love what you do?’ the answer to this is usually ‘no idea’ or ‘no definitely not, I hate my ______’. My first thought is ‘why the f&#* are you doing it then? Do you not know how short life is? Why are you wasting time?”. Then it occured to me… some people have never actually asked themselves the question ‘What do I want to do with my life?’. They have literally ‘gone with flow’ and simply ended up where they are.

When was the last time you asked yourself what you are doing with your life?

I dislike people complaining about Mondays immensely… Mondays is just another day to live the shit out of… to embrace with both hands and give it everything you’ve got.  It isn’t a day to mourn the loss of your ‘extremely short’ weekend, it should be a time to wake up refreshed, renewed and motivated to go out and do stuff, stuff you LOVE doing.

Don’t get me wrong, every job has a level of boring to it, there is general stuff that has to be done that you may not like to do, but by doing it you are ultimately achieving the stuff you LOVE doing (for me, the boring is data entry and admin). Ultimately, for the past 18 months, I haven’t felt like I have really ‘worked’. I haven’t really hated having to get up and go and do something. I mean, sure I’ve had days when I’d rather do nothing, and on those days, you know what, I can do nothing because that’s the life I have created.

I choose to work for myself, I choose to do all the things that I do and on a daily basis I am generally happy with my life.  I know I am extremely content with being self-employed.

I’m always hungry to keep achieving or starting new ventures, chasing new ideas, but I am also realistic when it comes to change, being able to adapt and having flexibility within your routine. You need to be in this day and age.

On occasion I have helped a few people realise their dreams by figuring out what it is they want to be doing and living their days doing it. So I thought I would share a few of the questions I ask and exercises I get them to do.

First I get them to get a pen and paper. I ask them to spend two minutes writing down absolutely everything they can that makes them happy, that they smile when doing, that comes to mind, that they wish they had done, places they want to visit, how many kids they have/want to have, what they think of their friends family etc/ anything they find as positive in their life and what they would like in their life. Single words, sentences doesn’t really matter as long as they don’t stop writing.

I then get them to spend two minutes writing down the things the hate doing, don’t like, food they don’t enjoy, people in their life that make them sad, jobs they hate doing, chores they deliberately skip doing, so on and so forth.

We then have a look at the lists and put into dot points the Good and the bad of their thoughts. We look at the things they like to do, that they get excited about, and then look at the things they don’t like doing and work out solutions as to how they can eliminate some of these bad things and surround them with more good stuff.

We look at their life overall – job, relationships, home, health, financial state and try to categorise their ‘brain dump’ under some of these headers.

From this we then look at where big changes can be made (i.e- change of job, change in diet, moving out of current home) which will turn negatives into positives.  We prioritise based on their needs at that time and put together a plan of action to take one thing at a time.

Most of the time I find when you turn what you think is a life full of negatives, and add a little positive the snowball effect carries over until your frame of mind changes where you have a lot more positives then negatives going for you and when a negative comes up you can find a solution, or have learnt to let it go because you know what it is you love to do…and you are DOING it!

Stop complaining, whining and whinging, shut up and do something about it… You are the only one who can make the changes so that you spend your time doing things you love, than things you hate. Its pretty simple, in my opinion.

 

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