The ‘Getting Married’ Stage of Life

Whats the difference between marriage and a wedding? If you don’t know the answer get that ring off your finger.

Ever noticed someone change once they are ‘engaged’, become what the media call a ‘bridezilla’? Bridezillas happen for multiple reasons; mostly negative but at times positive.

For instance Bridezilla moments may happen because ‘she’ just wants the day to be perfect for everyone else. This is usually a selfless act created from the stress of impressing everyone. But most Bridezilla moments are selfish acts based on fulfilling selfish needs.

Selfishness does not play a role in what I think makes a good marriage. I view marriage as a partnership where each person is equal and their needs are as important as your own. It is not a selfless relationship (alot of women put everyone before themselves) and it is not selfish (others think its all about them). Its respect, its compromise, its listening and understanding. Most people Ive interviewed, met, or know personally have somehow been effected by a positive or negative marriage. Whether it was being exposed to parents who were unbalanced. Where one gave everything and the other took it all, or a balanced marriage where voices were very rarely raised and compromise and a mutual understanding was always the end goal for both parties.

Everyones definition of marriage is different. To some it will be that the woman must serve the husband in every way he requests. To others it will be because its about time we just did it, or because its better for tax, our parents want us to, or getting a visa into another country.

To me marriage is a book written with a co-author.  Where two people write their lives together, with stories of tears and smiles, and uncontrollable laughter. The ultimate goal is for that book (life) to be a best seller, a book that you want to reread and wished it never ended. This to me defines marriage.

To me love is all the gooey stuff like holding hands and never wanting to sleep without them. Its in the saying goodbye with tears in your eyes, and drinking a bottle of wine together for no reason but to celebrate smiling. Love is the feeling of weightlessness, the feeling of being invincible.  Its those butterflies in your stomach that never go away, and seeing someone the way noone else sees them, and they see you like noone else sees you. Love is when that person is the most beautiful thing to you, inside and out. That you would stand next to through everything and tell the world he is mine.

Marriage is when two people are in love (definition above) with each other, and have decided that their story will be better written together then apart. Its as simple as that.

The Getting Married stage of my life is the first chapter of this book.

Im pretty sure its going to be a best-seller.

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