I AM Humanity X – An NFT Art Show

My first ever solo exhibition is coming up in Brisbane. 5th to the 30th October 2022 at Kaye West Studios in Camp Hill.

This show will showcase my acrylic painting pieces and my ceramic work. They will be for sale throughout the weeks and will also have NFT’s attached to each piece.

The pieces will showcase the beauty of humanity, educate people on the huge range of emotions we feel – increasing our vocabulary and emotional intelligence.

I look forward to updating you all on the work as it progresses and the behind the scenes footage as the show comes together!

The Shiny Fucking Bright Rebecca Strategy

If you’ve followed me for a while – you’d know this plan has been in action for the past while… in full swing since July 2021!

Paul and I had a conversation with tea around investing in ourselves over shares etc as it just felt like time. We spoke about what it might look like and I just got started.

We started with the physical transformation (I started going to HIIT Capalaba with my sister in the lead up to her wedding). I then signed up to their 8 week challenge which was a complete gamechanger. I got myself an amazing PT – Chris Payten and I went all in on the challenge. Results reached. At the same time as this challenge I did my first ceramics workshops to learn ‘patience’ and was really connected to the process of bring your vision to life.

Skip through to June 2022 and Ive just had six teeth out getting ready for braces… Ive wanted straight teeth since I was 16! I always said Id get it done after I was married but the truth is – I really had to be at a point of not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of me. Im only just here now at 36… so lets do this!

Whats to come:

Shiny and bright wardrobe – Ive started building this and this will continue to grow as I grow! I attended VeeCon in Minneapolis 2022 and went completely as myself and it was amazing! Sequins, rugrats, bright green pants and more!

Career transitions – becoming a professional artist / entrepreneur / speaker / life coach / education advocate / life designer. ALL OF THE THINGS. WHATEVER THE THINGS. I have stopped being worried about not doing ‘one’ thing and I am designing my life to meet the ‘all things’ goal!

Understanding myself – learning about ADHD and my brain and how that shows up for me. Designing my life around how I operate instead of trying to change myself to fit into a box. This is what I am most excited about! LIZZO’s statement – I am extremely talented and I am multi-facted – yep same, same here…. lets do this baby!!!!

Learning what RSD is and why it’s changed me instantly!

This week I had my first ADHD appointment. We went through the profiling and my mind kept exploding moment after moment.

I have spent so much of my life thinking I’m broken because of the trauma I experienced. It wasn’t until my sister was diagnosed with ADHD and my ten year old asked me if he could get tested himself did I really start to look at it potentially being how my brain works.

Man. I don’t know how to explain the absolute wave of peace that washed over me as soon as it came to light that I too am ADHD. I have another appointment in July that the Doctor has asked my sister to attend also but we can then look at medication options and strategies!

Ive only just started learning about ADHD and the way our brains work but the absolute clarity I have is a relief. It feels right and Im excited to go on the journey.

But RSD – Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria – blew my mind. I avoid deep connection because it means i am protected – but I always wanted to go deep with people I just met. It never made sense – complete sense – when we looked at my childhood and tried to find why I was like this because of all the trauma. I get absolutely knocked down – at times – for days and it can be debilitating – when rejection shows up in my life. It could be a staff member resigning, somebody not liking something Ive said, a sister or family disagreement. It never really showed up as anger for me. It was always ‘what could I have done better, what do I need to change for them to like me, why do they not like it here’. Some times – especially in 2021 – I would be watching Netflix in the dark for days on end – from the moment Id wake up until midnight. It never made complete sense – until now!

This knowledge – learning about this – will fundamentally change the way I parent, lead and show up in life. This alone is worth everything I have gone through.

I am soo excited about what’s to come and I know some of it is going to be tough – but right now – I am elated.

The I AM Workshop

Our upcoming workshop is being held on Friday 11th and Saturday 12th March 2022.

This workshop is transformational in all eight areas of your life.

In these sessions you will:

  • Learn about cold therapy and all of its benefits
  • Take an Ice Bath and realise how mindset effects your success
  • Change your mindset and the stories you are telling yourself that are holding you back
  • Start writing the next chapter of your life and learn the power of manifestation
  • Practice meditation and breathwork
  • Design your ideal life and strategies on how to start living it

This workshop is run at a maximum of 10 people – held in Alexandra Hills.

The cost of this workshop is $399 per person.

You will need to bring:

a yoga mat, small blanket, swimming attire, towel, water bottle, notebook and pen if you wish to take notes throughout the sessions.

Chris Payten is a qualified Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist who has changed the lives of many of his clients through one on one holistic coaching.

Rebecca Grugan is a successful entrepreneur who owns a multi million dollar business and works with people in groups and one on one to find their philosophy for life and helps them reach their full potential.

For more information contact us on 0409 649 321 or email rebecca@iam.qld.edu.au

Arms with the little muscle lines…

In 2021 I learnt how to do a sumo dead lift. But not on the first try. In fact I couldn’t even work out how to bend and keep my back straight at the same time.

I had spent my life avoiding lifting weights… I was worried about how it would make me look – that all the names I was called as a girl who played football… would come true.

I was pretty happy with the person I saw in the mirror… on the surface it seemed. I didn’t realise how tight I was holding onto deep beliefs and thoughts about how much of who I am was attached to my physical appearance.

An amazing mentor of mine asked me a question a number of years ago – ‘Why don’t you wear makeup?’… and it catapulted me into a journey of self-discovery I didn’t know I needed.

Why didn’t I wear makeup? First answer… I cannot be bothered. But also – I did things to avoid ‘being attractive’ as a safety strategy. If I wasn’t noticeable then I was safer than others in the room. I did this at the same time as wanting to shine so bright everyone could see me… but not too bright that maybe people wouldn’t like me. My curiosity into these reflections led me on a path I didn’t REALLY know I needed to go down.

If you follow my Pinterest boards you’ll see bright clothes, and sequins and clashing colours left right and centre. I admired women who wore what they wanted and did not dull themselves down for anyone. I did notice that these women – majority seemed to be in there 50’s – living gloriously as themselves and I wondered why. Why weren’t all women doing, being, wearing whatever they wanted.

I love patterns that clash, and sequins, and glitter, and sunnies that scream ‘SEE ME’! I want to wear these… unapologetically.

I sat with my thoughts for what felt like a long time… well two years… and I slowly pieced together my relationship with myself and why I did the things I did.

I had two things on a physical level that I maybe analysed too much… my teeth… and I always wanted those lines on my arms that show muscle definition. So these two things became two big pieces of my plans for Shiny Fucking Bright Rebecca.

A moment in time meant I had the opportunity to go and help my sister get fit for her wedding and from that beginners class – life changed. A guy saw me trying to squat and with two questions – changed everything I knew about movement. That guy was Chris – A PT like none Id ever met before – and my husband was one.

At that point I decided it was time. It was time to begin the Shiny Fucking Bright Rebecca plan. I booked some sessions, I went to the HIIT classes, I learnt some of the Muay Thai and overcame the bullshit I was telling myself. I started Project Arm Lines. I signed up to an 8 week challenge and committed to doing everything I was told to do (foreign concept for me since I was a teenager).

I had a goal and I hit that goal to the decimal but in the challenge I wasnt just physically transforming… I was having to go through fear – of failure and success, through obsession over doing as many steps and as many classes as I could, through self-sabotage (or thinking I was) and it was that entourage I had built around me that steered me ahead and through it all. I did the work, but I trusted them. I trusted someone else – and it was hard – but I am soo soo proud of myself for that break through.

I’ve started my second challenge – to learn how to maintain what I’ve earnt – those lines on my arms. Its Week 2 and I am struggling with the concept of eating more calories and the fact that I would stay this way. Its probably a simple concept for many – but my brain is working overtime to get myself around it – and again, that entourage is proving to be worth their weight and gold.

Now this physical transformation was done for more than just the lines on my arms – I have SOO much more work to do but I chose to do this part first before I started therapy to go through the other stuff. The other parts of the puzzle!

That part of the project started this week and man its exciting! Get ready bishes… that Shiny part is coming alive.

I’ve never felt so light. So calm, centred and me. My shoulders feel amazing. Its only been 30 years of carrying the weight of other’s expectations, stories and feelings about who I am. Its show time.

Book Review – Dare to Lead by Brene Brown

My leadership team and I have started a book club based around the book – Dare to Lead by Brene Brown.

This book was easy to read once you get past the first few pages and get yourself past the defensive road blocks you put in place of yourself when reading the things she is telling you you have to change.

Rumbling with vulnerability has been a life changing experience for me as someone who has tried to be independent and strong my whole life as I felt like there was noone I could ‘rely on’.

Learning about Armoured Leadership vs Daring Leadership has been a challenge but is changing my relationship with my team and even my family.

We will have our final meeting on this book in the coming weeks and I cannot wait to hear everybody else’s feedback on the book and how its effected their view of life and their roles!

Eyes Wide Open

Who am I? Really.

I have been fascinated over the last two years to discover how many people don’t really know who they are – how when asked the question – who are you? Struggle to answer it with clarity.

Many of us go through the motions of our days – same as the last – being a human – but not really asking ourselves the tough questions – avoiding the mirror – in case we accidentally took a look – and realised we might not like what we see – or worse still – find the face in front of us unrecognisable.

That’s the thing – in a world that doesn’t stop – with a ruler such as time – we forget about the fact that we are a singular piece of a huge puzzle – a single character in a story playing out on stage. We become the consumer – a member of the audience – forgetting that we started off the writer.

Who are you? What makes you – you? Why do you matter? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? Why do you do what you do?

Many nights over the past few years I have been in bed – eyes wide open – as I think about the person I am becoming – the things that have made me, me. Asking questions and putting the puzzle together, being more aware of the things around me and how I fit into it.

I realised how much my childhood effected my life – how much of that story I would keep playing out over and over in my mind. Realising that the more you think about it – the easier it is to forget the original script. This mind of ours – it’s big and complex and adaptable. If you continue to tell yourself something – true or not – the more you begin to believe it. The more you change the narrative. The coolest part of this though is that we have the control to rewrite it – better than it was before. With self awareness – you can accept and know for sure – who you are – and make positive decisions on how to deal with the ending – of the scene, chapter or life.

Burying your head in the sand, never turning the page – never opening your eyes to truly see – is denying yourself a beautiful life. An honest and authentic one. One that you hold the pen.

Live your life with your eyes wide open. And you’ll fall in love with what you see.

Lucy, the 1964 Millard Caravan comes to life.

DECEMBER 2018

After having an idea in my mind for a number of years, I found a vintage caravan with potential on Facebook Marketplace. I head over to have a look and decide to dive in and buy her. A 1964 Millard Caravan – an unfinished project of someone else. Exactly what my husband thought she would remain for me 😀 Purchase price = $2880

I had to tow her home with a tow truck because I refused to drive her unregistered although it was proven she was okay to be towed.

I knew she had a rusted chassis, but it was still strong and roadworthy just needed to be cleaned up and repainted. Above are the photos showing the state we got her in.

Many people thought I was crazy and that she would take months to come to life, but I am relatively determined and had a vision and got stuck straight in.

THE DEMOLITION

Everyone got stuck into the demo – my family, my nephew and friends. It was at this point that I realised the previous owner had tried to hide some leaks and damage. We had to replace some of the floor, the entire ceiling and the rear wall and part of one of the side walls. It wasnt pleasant finding them but I knew identifying leaks and ensuring that the van had no internal damage mattered more now and would save money in the long running correcting immediately.

Id decided to remove the wardrobe and after some deliberation removed the kitchen also as I believed Id get a more modern look and also a better finish with installing new kitchen cabinetry.

Demolition is something you can definitely do yourself if you are not handy. Be weary of electrical wiring and that you dont damage any of these lines.

THE REBUILD

I used Airtasker for alot of this work – alot of the messy time consuming work because I believed it was worth the money. Handyman/ Labourers are on the app and many of them are amazing.

We had one de-rust the chassis which took three days. My husband then treated it and then repainted it black. I recommend it may be better to take this somewhere, get it raised and sandblasted. Would have been quicker.

We had a carpenter redo the part of the floor we needed fixed aswell as the resheeting for the roof and walls.

It was at this point I was lucky enough to find a handyman who had a number of weeks available to commit to the project full time and this accelerated her into life a whole lot further. He was super handy, loved cars and automotive and was also a welder.

This meant that not only was the internal able to be completed, the same person could do majority of the rest of the work and link in with electricians and automechanics when needed.

We had window seals to replace, a whole lot of painting to get done (three coats), new floor to get down, new electrical wiring. We kept the original seating in check and just replaced the hinged parts with stronger wood.

THE LAYERS

Once we had the new kitchen in, the bed base built I was able to start concentrating on the layers. Now the week after I purchased her I had already gotten the foam cut and dropped off to a local upholsterer as I knew this would take time. I recommend getting your upholstery done by a professional – it looks amazing and will last a lot longer.

So this meant that I had quickly chosen the pattern and coloured upholstery. This then became the base for everything.

I was soo worried about painting the interior grey but I was convinced it would be worth it. So I did and I was in love. I had never done a full project like this in a small space but just felt like everything would come together.

We had the curtains made by someone local with fabric I had chosen from Spotlight.

The interiors were purchased from places like Spotlight, Target, KMart, Temple and Webster, Etsy, Oxfam, and Op Shops.

THE EXTERIOR

Lucy was going to be the Little Van of Big Ideas. She would be seen around Queensland and people would meet with mentors and ideas would come to life. She needed to be inspirational and fun and eyecatching.

I love black and white so we went with that in the design. I also love quotes and so I found an amazing sticker artist locally and we brought the concept in my head to life.

She turns heads wherever she goes and so many photos are taken of her and her words of wisdom.

OVERALL:

The project took seven weeks to complete and I am absolutely in love with her.

This project would absolutely be cheaper if you are handy and did a lot of the work yourself. Here is a rough tally of the costs I can remember:

Van $2880
Upholstery $770
Carpenter $1800
Chassis Repair $800
Handyman $4500
Kitchen $1200
Foam Mattress and Seats $500
New brakes and tyres $2000
Paint $400
Stickers $400
Electrical Work $250
Auto Electrican $900
Interiors – cushions, linen etc $2000

= $17,600

My people are all people.

Yesterday some asshole, a terrorist, decided to kill other humans, because he thought he had to protect ‘his people’. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? His people. I am not your fucking people. You are not human. You are a monster.

What you have done, ASSHOLE, and with the power of the internet, you have exposed the amount of racism that still exists in our society. You have exposed other racist bigots and they have nowhere to hide.

What you have showcased to the world is how much HATE and RACISM still exists in our own neigbourhoods. You have highlighted the fact that many amazing humans still have to wake up and survive the day surrounded by people looking down at them, thinking less of them, and sometimes verbally or physically abused, just because of what they look like.

Many of my friends are effected by the mass murder that occurred in New Zealand. And for many of my friends, this is nothing new. There are mass murders around the world, ALL THE TIME. But because it wasn’t ‘us’, we turn our backs to it. It’s hard to relate if you see yourself as different. If you turn your back on the mass killings in Israel because you don’t look like them. Because they don’t speak your language. Because you cannot see what you have in common with them. You cannot see or believe that they are just like you. When horrific scenes happen like they did in Christchurch, it hits home. It hurts your heart. IMAGINE LIVING WITH THAT FEELING EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

I am unbelievably uneducated when it comes to Immigration Policy. I do not have any understanding of the complexities behind who should be let into a country and who shouldn’t be allowed. What I do choose to see is the human face. The heart. Yes this may make me naive, maybe our country as we know it is going to change and for many reasons all I can say is THANK FUCK.

Thank fuck we have children running out of school to protest against climate change and the environment WE HAVE ALL FUCKED. Thank fuck we have RELIGION in the spotlight and that people who used to hold all the power are being questioned. Thank fuck more and more women are entering into positions of power. Yes. I am angry. Soo very angry at what the world looks like right now in the headlines but I know how much goodness there is out there around the globe.

The Prime Minister of New Zealand is the type of leader our world needs. Her words, her composure, her ability to relate, her skill to truly lead has never been more evident than yesterday.

We have a Senator here in our own country who has put out a statement of hatred and I CANNOT BELIEVE he was elected by other living, breathing Australians. Our political representation MUST change. Hatred has no place ANYWHERE in the world.

We need leadership, true leadership, more than we have EVER needed it. Our two options at the moment are not what we need. We deserve something greater, someone who can truly lead and unite our country, and work with other leaders (without ego) to unite our world. To continue working towards calm. I hope that we get this soon. In my lifetime so that my children can grow up in a fair world where the fact that they are white and male means absolutely nothing. I want them to grow up in a world that being kind, hard working, open minded, and accepting of everyone are skills that are valued in every human. I want them to have trees around them, breathe fresh air, know how to grow their own food and to give more than they take. I want them to be intelligent, emotionally, because this matters more than ANY academic result they could ever achieve. This is what our future needs. This is what our leaders need.

I want a world where you are not defined by how you look. The brands you wear. The size of your house. The amount you earn. I want a world where you are defined by your kindness, by your ability to give more than you take. I want a world where everyone could do a job that they loved. To go to school and become WHO THEY ARE MEANT TO BE, not like everyone else.

I can do more. I really, truly can. I could use less plastic. I could ensure I eat all of the food we buy each week. I could wear my clothes longer and I could reduce my impact on this earth. AND I am at least trying to be better.

I created and chose to focus on early childhood and to make an impact in raising true global citizens. Children who understood the environment, who learn to know what they love and to have the confidence to follow those dreams. To create a place where everyone was equal. Where smiles were evident, and sadness was comforted. Where each and every human that had anything to do with anything we did, could feel at home. Could feel accepted. Could feel loved. Could be themselves.

I am lucky. I have freedom here in this country. And I have an amazing life. But I could do better. Be better. So this is what I must try to do.

Because of you, I AM.